I Have Sinned – The Double-Minded Delegate

YHWH can bring truth from the mouth of a mule…

I really appreciate the irony of the story of Bilam. Here is Bilam, a known and respected “prophet” paralleled to a speaking donkey! The entire story of Bilam and Balaaq is full of fun details like threes and sevens, the covenant and references to the Feasts, but Bilam also happens to be the second person to say, “I have sinned.”

Bilam is a foreign prophet or seer hired to curse Israel. Four different times Bilam goes before YHWH to see what He has to say, yet again and again (six times actually), Bilam tries to go his own way. 

The first time Bilam goes to curse Israel, he rides out on a donkey. When he realizes the Messenger of YHWH is literally standing in his way, Bilam’s response is, “I have sinned. I did not know you stood in the ways against me.” 

Now, in Bilam’s defense, the first time he approaches YHWH, YHWH says, “Do not go.” However, with the promise of gold, silver and great esteem dangled before him, Bilam decides to ask again. This time, YHWH says, “Go, but only speak what I tell you to say.” That’s when Bilam gets on the donkey. 

So why did YHWH give Bilam permission to go, only to stand in his way? This response seems a bit double-minded, which makes sense because Bilam was double-minded.  He would “seek” YHWH only to do what he wanted.

Sometimes, YHWH will give us exactly what we want.  

He will give us up to the lusts of our hearts.

Rom 1:24  Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves

He will give us something to believe in.

2Th 2:11-12  Therefore God sends them a strong delusion, so that they may believe what is false, in order that all may be condemned who did not believe the truth but had pleasure in unrighteousness. 

He will allow us to make our own way.

Psa 81:11-12 “But my people did not listen to my voice; Israel would not submit to me. So I gave them over to their stubborn hearts, to follow their own counsels. 

But this is not His plan for us. 

We are His chosen people. His chosen instruments. His chosen delegates.

1Pe 2:9-10 But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. Once you were not a people, but now you are God’s people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy. 

We cannot be double-minded. We must have one with the Father in will and purpose. 

Jas 4:8 Draw near to Elohim, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 

Bilam confessed his sin, but he did not repent. This did not end well for Bilam.  He dies in battle fighting against Israel.(NU    He did not turn to YHWH.  In this season of repentance, purify your hearts.  Submit to YHWH’s plan for you.

Give thanks to YHWH for His mercy is everlasting! Turn from your own council, walk the ancient paths of righteousness. Submit your stubborn heart to the voice of YHWH.

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